Knowing where to start is very helpful for any life change we try to make. Below I outline three key components to fruitful family worship and then cover three practical considerations to maximize its effectiveness. You don’t have to follow this formula. There are multiple approaches to family devotions, and what I present here is just one. What matters is that we are actively discipling our children. 1 Please keep the ages of your kids in mind throughout this process.
First, when having a time of family devotions, they should be: Brief, Consistent, and Flexible.
Brief
As you well know, kids have limited attention spans. Worship should never be boring or tedious. This doesn’t mean it has to be fun-fun-fun all the time, but we should remove as many barriers to our kids’ understanding as possible. Keeping it brief helps with that. When our devotions are short, our kids can focus.
Additionally, we can fit short times of worship easily into our schedules. A common excuse for not spending time in family worship is that we “don’t have time.” If we keep it short, that problem is solved. As a side note, let’s keep in mind that we all have the same amount of time in a day. We MAKE time for what matters. If we think family devotions are essential, we prioritize them.
I would recommend that, depending on the age of your children, around ten minutes (fifteen at max) is a good goal. This time frame will allow you to read Scripture, discuss, pray, and sing a song. If you have older kids, you could push to twenty, but remember to keep the age of your youngest in mind when deciding.
Consistent:
Consistency communicates that we value something. I regularly spend time with my daughter Esther because I love her. If someone exercises faithfully, that reveals she values her health. The same idea applies to family devotions. When we are consistent, we teach our kids that these times of worshipping as a family matter.
Part of this boils down to the fact that kids, from a VERY young age, are developing a worldview. They are learning to view God, the world, Scripture, etc. through the lens of their authority figures and friends. As parents, we have unprecedented potential to impact the worldview of our children. We should take that seriously.
Keep in mind that “more is caught than taught.” Our kids learn more from seeing how we live our lives than from listening to our lectures about what we believe. It is one thing to say God is the center of our home. It is another to live it out daily. ( Family devotions are not the only way we do this; they are merely a part.)
Setting aside a consistent day and time also communicates clear expectations and dramatically reduces the likelihood of scheduling issues. If we meet every Thursday night after dinner, then everyone knows not to run to their rooms or play outside when they finish eating. Kids need structure, and this will give it to them.
Flexible
Flexibility recognizes that life happens while still prioritizing a consistent schedule. There will be seasons in your life when you have to change the time or frequency of family worship. Don’t be so rigid that you break. Crazy stuff happens. Family members end up in the hospital. Sometimes everyone gets the flu, people travel, etc. Being flexible allows you to adjust as needed to account for these realities.
A word of caution, there is a world of difference between an emergency or unforeseen conflict and letting busyness “replace” family worship. A short season of meeting less frequently may be unavoidable, but it should not become a habit. It is one thing to need to miss a couple of weeks due to sickness or moving. It is another to fill our schedules to overflowing with extracurriculars like sports, music lessons, etc. and then decide we “don’t have time.”
Finally, flexibility allows you to decide how often you meet based on what is best for your family and make adjustments as needed. My only firm recommendation is that it be at least weekly. Some families may meet more often, but if we pick a night as a family each week, that is a great starting point. Do what works for your family; we want kids to be awake and alert to learn, not dozing off because we think it MUST be at 6 in the morning :P.
In terms of the content for family worship, I believe there are three essential ingredients: Reading Scripture, Prayer, and Worship through Song.
Reading Scripture (7-9 minutes)
This is obvious but also complicated.2 The main idea is that the Word should be preeminent in our lives as Christians. If we want our kids to believe and understand that Scripture is central, we need to reinforce it regularly. God’s Word is His revelation to us, and it informs what we believe and thus how we live. As such, it MUST have a place in family devotions.
Regular Scripture reading is a conscious choice to place ourselves and our families under God’s authority. When we read Scripture, we must always ask how it applies. Studying Scripture is actively transformative; it must not be passive. We do not merely read and put it down; we meditate and pray that the Spirit would mold our hearts and those of our children according to His will.
We read his Word because we believe that it teaches us who God is. We believe that it reveals our greatest needs and those of our children. We study the Word because it is how God has chosen to reveal Himself and testifies to His ultimate revelation in his Son, Jesus.
Prayer (3-4 minutes)
Scripture is full to bursting with examples of prayer and how important it is. It seems like every time we turn around in the Gospels, Jesus is withdrawing somewhere to pray. Daniel’s prayer life was so essential to him that he refused to hide and compromise, even to the point of being sentenced to death.
Prayer, broadly speaking, is communing with God. We should spend time in prayer during family devotions because worship is more than just thinking rightly about God. The Bible, by the power of the Spirit, draws us into a relationship with God. We prioritize prayer in family worship because it provides a practical way for our kids to learn what it means to “be in a relationship” with God.
Your prayer time can be having a different family member close each night. As your kids get older, I would encourage taking a few minutes to share prayer requests and then maybe have a couple of kids pray for them. If you want a recommendation on how to “structure” your prayers, check the Lord’s prayer.3
Worship through Song (2-3 minutes)
There are tons of benefits to worshipping as a family through song. For one, it allows us to join our voices together as we praise God for who He is. This, combined with faithful church attendance, instills in our kids an understanding that community is a central part of their walk with Christ. We live in an individualized culture; family worship can serve to temper that with a biblical view of community and fellowship.
To sing songs as a family, you may have access to an app like Spotify. These have tons of music, including worship music. Youtube is another option and has lyrics on the screen, but be sure to be in control. Sometimes the “suggested” videos have nothing to do with the topic at hand and will autoplay when your current video finishes. (They aren’t generally inappropriate, but can still cause a distraction). Find something that works and stick with it.
In closing, I want to reiterate that the above method is merely one acceptable approach. Be flexible and find what works best for you and your family. Consistently take time, because our kids are worth it and, more importantly, God is worthy of our worship.